i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
