You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
