lets start a swedish sibling band together
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
