On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
