I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
