the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
