Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
