When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize