I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
