she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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