yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
