We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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