Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
