We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
