Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
