bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
