If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
