i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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