ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
