You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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