just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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