God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
