Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
