brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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