i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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