Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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