...so i touched it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
