And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
