I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
