i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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