I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
