What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
