We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
