Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
