I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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