so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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