ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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