do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
