I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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