May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
