Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
