But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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