I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
