What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We have started to decorate penises.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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