I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
