I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
