So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
