Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
