I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need a beard to bite.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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