I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
