Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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