I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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