That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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